What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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