I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
