I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I think your dad took our porno
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
