Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
