A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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