I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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