Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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