what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
