How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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