Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
we're making bets on your personal life
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
