my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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