Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
did you just send me my own nude
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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