i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
