Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
