dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
