I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
