also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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