DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
