well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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