Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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