Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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