he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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