I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
