i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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