Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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