My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Randomize
