I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
