Whod you bang
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
