Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
