Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
