ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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