He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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