Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
