Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
