She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My vagina is very pro this idea
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