Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
