I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
