stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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