PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
