could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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