I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
