just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
