this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
