Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
