He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
