i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We are all done wearing pants today
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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