Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
