In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
