His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
