now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
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