Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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