she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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