After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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